Thursday, 5 March 2015
Waking up to reality
Its real, its happening, its time to wake up.
My son seems very excited about getting bigger and now that I know its going to start happening, I can already see signs.
He has the signs of one or two spots. Iv found a hair. Yes its me that has to look. And hes showing an interest in girls. Girlfriends have been mentioned but to be honest I think hes just asking about girls who are friends, rather than a relationship. Hes never wanted friends in his life, but now he thinks hes a teenager (his words) he wants them more than anything. I've asked him why he wants a friend and he isnt sure himself, but he likes the idea of one.
During a trip to the swimming pool he approached a girl and tried rubbing her shiny swim suit. Now I venture into the mens to change him praying no one notices. Thank god for them cubicles.
He asks me every day is he bigger, is he growing up. Of course the answer has to be yes.
I've attended two courses, a three week one run by his service provider on puberty and one run by the Middletown Centre for Autism. Im so glad I bit the bullet. I feel so much better about whats happening and im confident I can help him. Between the two courses I've realised theres alot more to growing up and maturing to puberty. There's relationships, self care and hygiene, job prospects and alot more social issues than hes ever experienced. I dont know if he'll ever be at the stage of applying for a job but if he gets that far I feel more prepared. I even have a flow chart if he ever wants to ask a girl out.
The good news is the scary parts of puberty will wait. I dont introduce this topic until the last minute. There's no point, until I know hes there. Right now, I have to introduce the topic of his body changing a little, hygiene and self care. So the biggest battle there is teaching him he will have to shower more often. That will be fun! I also need to make sure he actually knows his body and what everything is. I have to drop the baby terms and use words like penis. The proper names, just in case he ever needs to talk to a doctor or professional. And I'll be slowly talking about the areas of his body that are private. Now that im making him aware of these areas, hes going to be more fascinated by them. I want to make sure he knows from the beginning that no one else sees them. Its ok for him to touch etc but only in his room. Its harder to break a habit here so im making that one priority.
I have my puberty folder ready with some visuals and social stories for him, some books ready to study and some vodka, just in case. I might as well start drinking at some stage. This seems like a good time.