Hormones,Autism or Bold?

Since my last blog I've been sticking to the same plan.  I'm mainly concentrating on self care and hygiene right now. He's getting better at washing and showering himself. He know's where to keep clean but needs reminding before a shower.  He has no problem dressing himself.  Because he has the odd spot I've bought a gentle face wash and hes used it once or twice.  I think I'll have to print out a visual schedule as there is so much for him to remember, no matter how slowly I introduce everything.

That's the positive news. His emotions and behaviours are more unpredictable than the weather. It has been draining. One problem is his increase in appetite. I cant keep up and I cant give in. Hes growing taller but he is still getting bigger in an unhealthy way and also getting stronger. That's whats scary.
When denied food he sees red and lashes out.  I cant keep giving him all the food he wants and I refuse to but hes getting so angry and so upset.  We've had everything tested, he has nothing medical causing this extreme hunger but that's little consolation when your defending yourself from your own child.  Your stopping him hurting you, damaging property and most importantly hurting himself.

His anger is at an all time high.  Hes becoming obsessed with things and if he doesn't get his own way he sees red and the meltdowns are the worst we've gone through to date.  The problem is, once its over he gets so upset and remorseful. Hes two different boys. He shocks himself at how angry he gets.  We can increase his medication but not by much. And the medication hes on increases appetite. A vicious cycle. I can try fix one anger to make another just as bad.

As a mother all you want to do is help your son. You want to make everything go away and for him to be happy. Its heartbreaking when hes hurting you or hurting himself.  your stopping him hurting his siblings or others.  You get calls from school about the awful behaviour, Phone calls from his respite about bad days and hurting staff.  All I want to do is fix it.  dealing with your emotions and heartbreak of it and as well as all that your frustration.

The thing is, I have no idea if some of these behaviours are just my son being bold, if its hormones from puberty or if its his autism.  Is it a mix of all three? Im so tired and how can I fix it if I dont even know whats causing it. if this is puberty how on earth are we going to survive the next few years.  We could have all of this as well as sexual feelings confusing him even more.
I've read the books, attended the courses, researched the Internet but no one has an answer about this.  Yes I know all about "growing up", physical changes, things that will happen to his body, talking to girls, dating girls and so on but theres nothing to prepare you for this.